“ALONE should put any search for a long-term relationship on hold and look for more casual kinky fun,” said Boyd. “Bondage guys are from all walks of life, and they range from twinks to muscle guys to bears, cubs, jocks, and average Joes. “Bondage is the great unifier among kinksters,” said Joshua Boyd, a gay bondage “enthusiast,” as they say, in his mid-30s who lives and ties in the Seattle area. In other words, ALONE, guys like you.Īnd speaking of guys like you, did you know you have a motherfucking superpower that makes you a member of all gay tribes and your own unique tribe? And if the guys looking longingly at the easy-and-obvious tribe would look around, they’d see a whole lot of guys like them-guys who might be feeling a little awkward or out of place, guys who are attractive in perhaps less conventional or immediately apparent ways, guys with hidden depths, etc. Because that small scrum of guys who fit neatly into whatever gay tribe happens to be dominating the bar/pool/whatever are usually surrounded by a much larger group of guys who don’t fit neatly into that particular tribe.
How do I crack this shell of mine open?Ī: Next time you find yourself on the outside looking in, ALONE, take a moment to look around. I find myself on the outside looking in when searching for a nice guy for a date or more. By my looks I don’t really fit into any of the “tribes” that a lot of gay men identify with. Often those drawn to me haven’t really been of the sexually adventurous kind. Turns out I actually have quite a few kinks-bondage being one of them-but so far I have hardly been able to explore them with a partner. I feel most guys just stop at my gentle disposition and assume I must be a bit boring if not a prude altogether.
Whenever I was able to, my partners were usually pleasantly surprised and we could enjoy plenty of fun, but I can count these occasions on the fingers of one hand. I feel my quiet ways tend to put people off, and I hardly ever get the chance to show my more playful or crazy sides, as it takes me a bit to feel comfortable to show those. I’ve always found the gay scene overwhelming. I’m quite introverted and a bit shy, yet I have a big sexual drive and a rich libido.
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